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A Word In Season

A Testimony By: Jada McGoldrick

March  2019

Picture it: Tulsa, Oklahoma – August 2016. A fresh-out-of-high-school me fiddled around with her suitcases and talked about her big dreams on the way to her new life. I went through several college letdowns before discovering Victory College per my uncle's suggestion. It was modern, God-centered, and twenty-two hours away, and God gave me a whispered "yes." I found myself questioning my shallow faith and the spot I often found my self-esteem rooted in. The unhealthy habits I'd developed throughout my life were brought to the surface, and it was painful. I now call those moments, especially those I experience in my current life, "sandpaper moments" due to the work my soul ended up in almost every moment.

My time there consisted of me either discovering something new that God loved about me or ending up with my head in my lap weeping because of how evident He was. It was so real, it became physical when I was so desperate for someone to come out and reach me in my isolation. In the moments no one else was around, I felt myself crumbling into anxiety, but I knew I wasn't alone in this anymore regardless of how much The Enemy tried to convince me otherwise. Anxiety became less and less, and I was starting to see that being comfortable in my own skin was actually possible. The transition wasn't smooth, let me just say that plainly. I still was tremendously homesick in most moments, and God was healing a wound I hoped a guy and finding "love" would fix.

My stepping out of comfort zone in every possible way was what led me to restoration I didn't know I needed, most of which came in extraordinarily simple ways. If I could go back to that fearful high school senior and say anything, I'd say, "it's gonna suck, but trust me, it'll all be worth it to see what God'll do."   

Work heartily as unto the Lord and not unto men. 

May  2019

One of my biggest fears in life was to be forgotten and undervalued. Sometimes we do so much for others and spend so much energy empowering others that we secretly hope that they have considered our worth and value in their lives. We want them to appraise us properly. Did you know that the word “appreciate” comes from the word “appraise”? We can’t appreciate anyone unless we make note of all they have done for us in comparison to all they have done against us. Like I said I lived in fear of being used abused and forgotten. You see, people will forget your value when you fail them. My healing came when God said to me in his word. Work heartily as unto the Lord and not unto men. Why? Because the need to be appraised by men is a weakness. We have to Love and empower others at the risk of being forgotten and under appreciated. It’s the love of God which is self initiated. So just do good to others and change others lives and don’t worry about rather or not they appreciate it. Just love and make peoples lives better even if it kills you because that’s the love of God and that’s freedom and remember,God appreciates you.

God bless you,

Terrance Shivers

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